So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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