I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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