Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
