I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
