Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
