Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
