Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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