Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
