got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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