If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Randomize
