What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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