I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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