'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
