You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
