I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
