who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
we're so committed to being not committed
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
