If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish life had little blips of pornography
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
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It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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