i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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