hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
