What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
