Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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