nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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