Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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