Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
