I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize