Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
