i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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