butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
home. puking in laundry basket.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
