white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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