You're my little dorito
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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