By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
