yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
