So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
