Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just blew my weed a kiss
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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