I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
