Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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