I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
