6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
