Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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