That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
