my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway