Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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