You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
