he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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