i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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