Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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