Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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