There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
