I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
