hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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