Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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