Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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