hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
BRING THE BAGELS
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
